Mario Gets Big Ears!
by MeerkatMario
Summary: In this SuperMarioLogan fanfiction, Jeffy deafens Mario, and Mario is forced to get stock ears so he can hear again! Reviews please! (RATED M FOR BAD LANGUAGE)
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

 _ **LANGUAGE WARNING!** Contains swearing and bad words._

 _So this was a crazy and weird idea that I had today, and I decided to make it into a story. This fanfiction is based on the SML video "Big Ears!", where Junior gets reminded by Chef Pee Pee that he doesn't have ears, and somehow cannot hear anymore because of this, so he is forced to get a pair of replacement stock ears that make him look ridiculous. In this story, Jeffy shouts in Mario's ear and makes him deaf. This is a SuperMarioLogan story so please don't hate on me._

* * *

 **In Jeffy's crib, 9:30 AM**

Jeffy woke up in the morning, next to a box of Cheerios.

"Good morning baby," Jeffy said to the Cheerio box, "You ready for my pee-pee?"

He then started to hump the box of Cheerios before he felt hungry.

"I'mma find Daddy," he said to himself after he stopped humping the box of Cheerios.

 **On the couch**

"Hey, um, Daddy," Jeffy said to Mario, who was sitting on the couch, "I'm hungry."

"Good morning, Jeffy," Mario replied, "What do you want to eat?" After a short beat, Jeffy said, "I don't even know."

"Well, I can make you some green beans," Mario said.

"Some what, Daddy?" Jeffy asked, being that he hated green beans a lot.

"Some green beans, Jeffy," Mario replied.

With the now inevitable fate of having to eat his least favorite food, Jeffy wanted to remind Mario, but not in a pleasant way.

"Um, Daddy, come here," Jeffy said, "I want to tell you something."

As he got closer, Mario said, "OK, sure."

When Mario got close to Jeffy's mouth, he didn't see it coming when Jeffy suddenly let out an ear-piercing scream, " _ **I HATE GREEN BEANS, DADDY!**_ "

As Jeffy began a rant, Mario's ears were hurting and ringing so much. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I DON'T LIKE GREEN BEANS!" Jeffy yelled, "WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE TO GET THROUGH YOUR THICK ITALIAN MUSTACHE, TO KNOW THAT I DON'T LIKE GREEN BEANS!"

Instead of saying anything else, Mario just asked, "What? Jeffy, what did you say?"

Jeffy got more enraged. "I DON'T LIKE GREEN BEANS, DADDY!" Jeffy continued shouting, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!"

Mario started asking louder, "WHAT?"

Jeffy snapped at this. "YOU KNOW WHAT DADDY?" Jeffy ranted, "FUCK YOU! FUCK GREEN BEANS! YOU CAN FUCKING BUY ME CARROTS, OR PEAS, OR SOME OTHER SHIT! BUT YOU CAN FUCKING LEAVE THE GREEN BEANS AT THE GODDAMN STORE DADDY!"

"FUCK YOU!" Jeffy said one more time, before leaving.

"JEFFY!" Mario yelled, "I can't hear anything! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

 **In the kitchen**

Chef Pee Pee was cooking a meal, when Mario arrived.

"Chef Pee Pee!" Mario said.

"Oh hey Mario! What do you want?" Chef Pee Pee asked.

"What?" Mario replied, still unable to hear.

"What do you mean what?" Chef Pee Pee said.

"Chef Pee Pee, I can't hear anything!" Mario tried to plead.

"Mario, I don't believe you," Chef Pee Pee asked, "What's going on?"

"Um, I can't hear you but I can explain what's going on," Mario told him, "So Jeffy said that he was hungry and then I said I was going to make him green beans, and then he yelled really loud in my ear, so now I can't hear anything!"

"That makes no sense!" Chef Pee Pee replied.

"WHAT?" Mario yelled again.

Chef Pee Pee sighed in frustration. "Let me go check your ear," he said, before looking into Mario's right ear. "I don't see anything," he told Mario, and looked a little closer.

He seemed to notice a really bad sight in his ear, and screamed in disgust.

"OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS!" Chef Pee Pee yelled, before throwing up in an empty pot. "I HAVE TO CALL THE DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!" Chef Pee Pee screamed as he left.

"WHAT?" Mario asked once more, before following him.

* * *

 ** _Read and review please!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**On the couch**

"Alright," the Brooklyn doctor said as he came in the house, "What seems to be the problem here?"

"Doctor," Mario replied, "I can't hear you but I'll explain what's going on."

As he explained everything, Chef Pee Pee was right next to him, still recovering from what he found in Mario's ear.

"Oh," the doctor said, "I think there's something wrong in your ears." He then proceeded to look in Mario's ear.

"Um," the doctor then explained, "the kid [Jeffy] probably just shattered your eardrums or something or that."

"What?" Mario asked, still unable to hear anything.

The doctor then tried making nibbling noises in Mario's ear, and he confirmed that Mario's eardrums were in fact ruptured.

"Oh," Chef Pee Pee said, "so that's why his ear looked so disgusting when I looked in it."

"Yeah," the doctor replied, "probably just a little blood or something."

"What's going on?" Mario asked again.

"So how are we going to fix this, doctor?" Chef Pee Pee asked.

"Well," the doctor explained, "There is this really expensive and very hilarious surgery that he could have to get ears while his old eardrums try to recover."

"Expensive?" Chef Pee Pee replied.

"Yeah, it's pretty expensive," the doctor said, "but it's probably worth it to get an ear transplant. We actually got a surplus of ears from Nickelback victims at the hospital, though."

"Wait, what?" Chef Pee Pee asked in surprise.

"Yeah, yeah," the doctor replied, "but we have to give him a surgery. Come on!"

As Mario didn't hear the doctor, he just stood on the couch. Chef Pee Pee then proceeded to lead Mario towards the doctor.

 **After the surgery**

Mario was covered in a black blanket, with the doctor right next to him.

"OK," the doctor told Mario, "Are you ready for the dramatic reveal?"

"Yes," Mario said.

"Alright, drumroll please!" the doctor said before imitating a drumroll and unveiling the blanket, revealing Mario's new ears.

It turns out that Mario literally got a pair of stock ears taped to his head, but he could somehow still hear with these ears. The doctor started laughing at how ridiculous Mario looked like with the ears.

"You look like a big-eared freak!" the doctor laughed, "Just to warn you, people are gonna laugh at you!" He then started making numerous jokes, involving Mickey Mouse, a car with the doors open, and the huge size of the ears, among others. Mario got confused.

"What's going on?" Mario asked.

"G-Go look in the mirror!" the doctor kept laughing, before eventually leaving. Mario then went to look at his reflection in the mirror.

 **In the bathroom**

"Why is the doctor telling me to look in the mirror?" Mario asked before looking in the mirror. Upon seeing his new ears, he almost felt like he was going to scream in shock.

"W-WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY EARS?!" Mario yelled, "I look really ridiculous, my girlfriend is going to break up with me, what am I going to do?!"

He then heard a doorbell.

"Oh my God, who could that be?" Mario then said as he went to open the door.

 **At the front door**

"Hello?" Mario said as he opened the door.

It was Rosalina, Mario's girlfriend. She immediately laughed upon noticing Mario's ears.

"Hey baby," Mario stuttered in embarrassment.

"You look like a big-eared freak!" Rosalina said as she laughed.

"I-I can explain," Mario said as he led Rosalina inside.

 **Back on the couch**

"So what's new, Mario?" Rosalina asked as she stopped laughing.

"Well, Jeffy asked me that he was hungry," Mario explained, "And then I said that he could eat green beans, and then he yelled so loud in my ear that he shattered my eardrums, and I couldn't hear anymore, and I had to go get a surgery to get these new ears."

"What?" Rosalina asked.

"Yeah, that happened," Mario said.

"That makes no sense!" Rosalina exclaimed while laughing again, "You really got a lot of jokes!"

"Baby, that actually happened!" Mario tried to reply.

They then heard another doorbell.

"I'll go answer the door, OK?" Mario told Rosalina as he went to answer.

"Fine!" Rosalina chuckled.

* * *

 ** _Read and review please!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**At the front door**

"Uh, hello?" Mario said as he opened the door. It was Jeffy, who was carrying a brown plastic bag.

"Hey Daddy," Jeffy greeted Mario. He "unh"'d and started spanking his diaper as he usually did.

"Jeffy," Mario said in angst, "I thought you ran away."

He then noticed Jeffy's brown plastic bag.

"W-Jeffy is that a McDonald's?!" Mario asked in surprise.

"Oh yeah, Daddy," Jeffy replied, "I got some chicken nuggets."

Mario was shocked as to what happened.

"How did you do that?" Mario asked Jeffy.

"I drove all the way to McDonald's," Jeffy said.

"You didn't drive to McDonald's, Jeffy," Mario replied, "What happened?"

 **Flashback:**

"Taxi!" Jeffy cried under the street light.

A taxi car then came. The taxi driver looked and sounded exactly like the doctor from earlier.

"Where do you want to go?" the taxi driver asked.

"McDonald's," Jeffy said.

"OK," the taxi driver said, "Get in the back seat."

When Jeffy got in the taxi, it drove off towards McDonald's.

 **Back to the story:**

"So you didn't drive to McDonald's," Mario said.

"Yeah I did, Daddy, if I'm in a car it counts as driving," Jeffy replied.

"No, it doesn't, Jeffy!" Mario admitted.

 **On the couch**

"Hey, um, Daddy," Jeffy asked as he sat on the couch with Mario and Rosalina, "Why are your ears so big?"

"Because you yelled in my ear and you shattered my eardrums," Mario said.

"Daddy," Jeffy replied, "You must be crazy."

"I'm not crazy, Jeffy!" Mario said, "Why would you yell in my ear?"

After a short beat, Jeffy replied, "I don't even know."

"So did it really happen, Mario?" Rosalina asked him.

"Y-Yeah, it did actually happen," Mario replied, "And Jeffy already brought some chicken nuggets for himself."

"That doesn't make any sense but it's kinda believable," Rosalina said.

"Oh yeah it is," Jeffy said.

"Well, after you eat your chicken nuggets, you can go eat green beans," Rosalina suggested to Jeffy.

"HOLY FUCK!" Jeffy suddenly shouted.

"JEFFY! Language!" Rosalina reminded him.

"NO MOMMY FUCK THAT!" Jeffy yelled, "I AM **NOT** EATING GREEN BEANS! WHAT DID I SAY EARLIER DADDY?!"

"You said that you didn't like green beans," Mario stuttered.

"THAT'S MORE FUCKING LIKE IT DADDY!" Jeffy continued ranting. "YOU'RE THE FUCKING TOOTH FAIRY AND THE EASTER BUNNY!"

As Jeffy sighed in frustration, Mario told Rosalina, "Let's just never make him eat green beans again."

"Oh, Daddy," Jeffy told Mario, "I got one more thing."

"What?" Mario asked.

"When you and Mommy talk, your mouths don't open, Daddy," Jeffy told them.

Mario and Rosalina's voices then suddenly got muffled. Jeffy chuckled.

Mario then suddenly started talking again. "Alright, this is stupid," he admitted and took his stock ears off.

"So you can hear again?" Rosalina asked him.

"Y-Yeah, I don't know what these guys were thinking when they made this story," Mario said.

"I'mma go eat my chicken nuggets, Daddy," Jeffy said before leaving.

"Alright, see you later Jeffy!" Mario and Rosalina said to him.

"Let's go watch some TV," Mario said.

"OK," Rosalina replied as Mario pressed a button on the TV remote.

* * *

 ** _THE END  
_**

 _I hope you liked this story even though it was kinda short and really dumb, especially with the ending. I know some of you are going to "have cancer" reading this story, but at least it's better than the last SML story I made, which was "Jeffy's Wedding"._

 _Part of this chapter was written on a New 3DS XL! It actually does work!_

 ** _Read and review please!_**


End file.
